Writing on Wednesday

Today’s prompt for the five minute writing exercise is the first line of your favourite song. I don’t really have a favourite song, it depends entirely on my mood and the circumstances I’m listening in, but I have long loved the music of Nick Cave so I chose the first line from the The Weeping Song.

Go son, go down to the water…

…and see what lies there. Perhaps you can bring me back some tadpoles. Here, take the jar. No, you can do it yourself, take the jar. I’ll watch. And I did. I watched him pick his way over the layers of gum leaves, crunching under his bare feet. Carefully lifting his small feet over the gnarled branches and putting his hand out to steady himself as he slipped on the steep bank of the creek. He looked back for reassurance and I smiled briefly as I pulled out my book to read. But I kept watching as the sun caught the dirty blonde of his hair through the dappled shade. The way he slowly unscrewed the lid and bent down by the brown water. His feet oozing in the mud. His head cocked to one side, just like his dad’s. The tears spilt, his dad.

 

You can read more about me and Nick Cave here.

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16 thoughts on “Writing on Wednesday

  1. So nicely written and I liked the way you have incorporated it with your writing prompt. But, the last sentence made me to think more as it confused me. Why the tears split?

    Above all, thanks for commenting on my efforts of writing this week’s exercise. All the best.

    • Why the tears spilt? Well, I put my pen down when the timer went off so, I can’t tell you. Perhaps the father has died or maybe they’re divorced or arguing. I think he’s died and the gesture of the boy’s reminds her of the husband she has lost.

  2. Oh Jennifer. That was really beautiful. I immediately thought that the Dad had died and it made me feel very sad. I could feel your character’s pain. So well written. So few words for such a lot of emotion. Thank you!

    Anne @ Domesblissity

  3. oh I love love love this piece! It’s so gentle yet captures so much of their relationship. And don’t our children just so regularly remind us of the other parent. I have wondered about how that would be if it was a sad reminder.

    • Yes it is amazing. My eldest daughter has so many mannerisms of her father (my 1st husband) & yet they’ve spent so little time together (long story), & sometimes I’m really taken aback at how imprinted these small gestures are. Thank-you so much for your comment.
      J x

  4. Yes, I think this is lovely too. Each week I am amazed at where our stories end up. Just as you mentioned in your comment, you are not sure why the tears were spilt, the buzzer seems to know to ring at a special moment! I loved the detail in your piece and it really paints a picture.

    Great song choice too. Such a poetic songwriter and I think your writing echoed the mood of Nick’s music.

    • I love the prompts for that reason. You pick up your pen and you start writing and I never know where I’m heading, Such an adventure. But I might continue with this one – could be a short story.
      Thank-you for your comments esp about echoing the mood of Nick Cave’s music!
      J x

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