Write on Wednesday

This week’s prompt for the inkpaperpen writing group is – Sit under a tree and write. As always it’s a five minute exercise.

My Writing Tree

Carol dropped the rake and leant against the Moreton Bay Fig, breathing in the moist earthiness. Grounded. She pushed a loose strand of hair away from her eyes and caught the bead of sweat trickling down her throat. The humidity seeped in under the shade of the low spreading branches, there was nowhere to hide. So still. Not even the stirring of a breeze ruffled the leaves. The rough bark itched through  the soft fabric of her T-shirt, persistent. Like Trevor, she thought. Irritating. But at least in this corner of the garden she was away from him. Third day of the bloody cricket test. Every year. Every Boxing day. TV, beer and cricket. Straight after the Sydney to Hobart start. Priorities, of course. Sport, then a bit more sport. Carol sighed, she’d be a grandmother in a few months. Trevor can put up a new rope swing.

The Adventures of Carol and Trevor started last week here.

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20 thoughts on “Write on Wednesday

  1. I am pleased to see Carol back this week. I saw your link pop up on my blog and I was hoping you would continue with this story. My favorite part was the comparison between the itch of the rough bark and Trevor. Carol might be about to become a grandmother but I sense a few more changes coming for her – and Trevor!

    Hope you enjoyed this week. I think you are on to something…

  2. I’ve missed the last two weeks so had to do a catch up of your character. Like Gill I loved the comparison between her husband and the ‘irritating’ bark of the tree. What a great description!
    Hope to read more about Carol.

  3. I love this! I love it that Trevor and Carol are in a different stage of their lives to most of us. The link from the bark to Trevor’s irritation was perfect. And for a short piece you established so much of both of their characters so well. Yay for you!

  4. Love your tree – like a real Faraway Tree.
    I was suprise Carol was wearing a t-shirt at her age! 😉 Maybe a designer one at that. She seemed classier last week. Love the follow on.
    I like the new suspence – the grandchild – thows in a bit more drama.

    • Kristy, thanks for your feedback, this got me thinking.So how old is Carol exactly? Hadn’t really settled that, but it’s her 1st grandchild, so I’m thinking late 50’s. I definitely didn’t see her as a little old lady! The t-shirt – mm, well she’s just outside in her garden, rather than having dinner & I hope I’m still wearing t-shirts in 10 years time! But that’s the beauty of having people read your work – you realise what you’ve taken for granted & need to convey more specifically, so thank-you.
      J x

      • I pictured her ~50 as well. But I guess I was wondering what were her motivations for staying and why hasn’t she gone already? Here are some of my ideas….
        1) he’s rich – she doesn’t want to lose her lifestyle
        2) he’s powerful – it would look bad for him publicly
        3) social protocol – displeasing the family etc, maybe the time period or culture?
        4) Lack of Courage, too hard, nowhere to go to… etc etc
        I thought it was Rich – so she would be wearing something designer. I got the rich part from the restaurant dinner.

        Love the Gran-Lit idea! Here – wrote a blurb for you…
        “This is the book for those older ladies who wished they had of left earlier but didn’t… How did Carol get up the courage to leave irritating – cricket loving Trevor! ”
        I’m enjoying it and can imagine my Mum and MIL reading …. heheh

  5. Loved this next instalment! Trevor as a persistent itch made me laugh. I really like Carol – she’s showing some real discontent and a hint of the gumption she’ll need to make some changes. Keep it up!

    (I’m also a cricket widow from time to time).

  6. Ooh, I love how the tree set the back drop, and lull me into a scene of serenity, then brought me back to a harder reality through it’s irritating bark! Made me smile!

  7. Sorry Jennifer. Only getting around to reading your story now. I get the impression that Carol might be a little younger than her husband. I can feel her boredom and her pain. Looking forward to the next instalment.

    Anne @ Domesblissity

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