Write on Wednesday

The Write On Wednesday Rules: Feel free to get creative with the writing exercises – there isn’t a right or wrong. Please do try to visit the other members of Write On Wednesdays and leave a comment. You can grab the button for Write On Wednesdays from my sidebar.

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 11 – Take a Walk: “Come back home and write what you encountered. Try to write so that your sentences feel the way the walking felt.” Let’s toss the 5 minute sprint aside this week and instead take a lingering stroll through our exercise. Participants are encouraged to write a first draft (the point being to get it out on the page), then to go through and edit their piece before posting. We’re aiming to get from one place to another, taking the reader with us – economically, gracefully, elegantly. 
Perhaps start with the usual stream of consciousness exercise if you are having trouble getting started. But then stop and take a look. Edit your sentences and try to get them “feeling” the way your walk felt.

This may seem challenging. But remember, as always, try to enjoy the exercise. Post what you can and rise to the challenge. After all, that’s what we have to do if we want to write and write well.

Special thanks to Karen at the rhythm method for the suggestion and to Gill, as always, for hosting Write on Wednesday over at inkpaperpen.

 

As I seem to be on a roll with Carol, I’ve continued with her story & decided to interpret the challenge rather broadly. I’ve thought about my walk, the pace, the punctuations, interruptions  and pauses, the distractions and tried to weave that into a fictional piece. My walk took me along Darling St, Balmain, at a fairly leisurely, relaxed pace to begin with but as I hit the main shopping area, there were traffic lights,  other pedestrians to avoid and windows to browse. And finally, a front door closing on my destination.

 

 

Carol felt like a cat on a window sill. The warmth of the winter sun was washing over her as the water whooshed beneath the wooden deck. Her eyes were closed, her breath slow, steady, taking in the scent of salt and coffee. There was a lightness, almost floating, as if outside her body. The chatter of the other diners as inconsequential and distant as the seagulls squabbling over a tasty morsel of toasted focaccia. To be like this, suspended in this moment as comfortable and comforting as a mother’s embrace.

‘You ready to order?’

Carol jumped. Jarred by the demand of the young waitress. The girl’s dyed auburn  hair was pulled into one of those messy side ponytails they all seemed to wear. The front of her tatty grey t-shirt was tucked into the front of her jeans. The rest left to hang limply over the washed out skinny jeans. Tight enough to give you a yeast infection, Carol thought, no wonder she’s so rude.

Carol lowered her head so she could peer at the young waitress  above her sunglasses. Her eyes slowly flicked over the younger woman like a judge at a cat show. ‘No, I’m still not ready to order. My friend still hasn’t arrived.’ Carol was smiling at the carefully dishevelled waitress, but each ‘still’ spat like sausage fat in a pan.

‘It’s just we get busy at lunch.’ The waitress tapped her pen on her thumbnail. Tap, tap,tap, tap, tap.

Carol wondered if it was code for the chef: Spit in the soup of the day, now.

A hand rested on her shoulder, a kiss brushed her cheek.

‘Sorry I’m late gorgeous. Military Rd. Nightmare.’

‘Ginny, darling, you can never be too late.’

‘I’m starving,’ said Ginny as she scooped up the laminated menu, slid into her chair and plonked her chocolate Longchamps tote on the table. All in one singularly fluid move, much like her life had been until Terry had so inelegantly chosen to die of cancer. ‘You ordered yet?’

The waitress snorted and stalked off.

‘What’s wrong with her?’ Ginny asked.

Carol shrugged, ‘Yeast infection.’

 

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9 thoughts on “Write on Wednesday

  1. Well done! Love the humour.

    The cat references are superb, I could feel the sun on my own back as I read that first line. Amazing how a description like this can say so much. I am enjoying Carol’s story and appreciate your comment on the process – I always like to hear how others approach the exercise and/or their writing. Oh and strong description of the waitress also, I think I have been served by the same carefully dishevelled side ponytail!

    x

  2. Love it…it sounds like the type of book I love to read…write more write more!
    (also just got home from a late arvo at Balmoral…I think I saw Carol and Ginny there!)

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